The Strongest Bridge Can Sway Without Breaking
"Vulnerability is the only bridge to build connection." ~ Brené Brown
I’ve struggled with this week’s email. Sometimes the topics are so perfectly timed for what I’m going through that the words just flow out. But this week, my words are STUCK.
Trust me, we ALL need to be talking about this week’s topic, building bridges, right NOW. And there’s SO much I want to say to those with whom I don’t share the same beliefs, values, or viewpoints. I have tried to meet those who see the world through a different lens with LOVE, but somehow it never feels like enough … and then, I don’t feel like enough. I’m tired and exhausted, and that’s what makes it so hard. (I did ask for support recently, and that is helping.)
Two important aspects of building bridges are tolerance and inclusion. Caregivers often have to tolerate not just differing opinions but also stress, emotional outbursts, and sometimes unfair criticism from family members who aren’t as involved. But caregivers can’t always walk away from these conflicts. They must navigate them while ensuring the well-being of the person they care for. Tolerance is about managing emotional strain and disagreements with grace and resilience, while inclusion is about making sure both the caregiver and the care recipient are valued and involved in decision-making.
A great analogy for the bridges we build is a suspension bridge—strong yet flexible, designed to withstand tension and changing conditions.
The Cables (Communication & Understanding): Just like cables hold a suspension bridge together, open and honest communication supports our relationships. Without it, the bridge weakens.
The Towers (Trust & Respect): These provide the foundation. If trust and respect aren’t strong, the bridge becomes unstable.
The Deck (Daily Care & Compromise): This is where the caregiver and loved one meet, finding common ground and making adjustments to keep things balanced.
The Wind & Weight (Challenges & Emotions): The bridge must sway and adapt to pressures, such as disagreements, emotions, and stress, without breaking.
Just like a suspension bridge, our relationship with our care recipient requires flexibility, strength, and ongoing maintenance to stay strong and functional.
3 TOOLS FOR BUILDING BRIDGES:
Active Listening & Validation. People want to feel heard, even if their perspective differs. Let your loved ones express their concerns without interrupting. Reflect back what they say. Acknowledge their emotions.
Collaborative Decision-Making. Instead of making decisions alone, involve your loved ones in the process. Offer choices instead of ultimatums. Find middle ground - if they resist a big change, explore gradual steps.
Respectful Boundaries. Boundaries help prevent frustration when disagreements persist. Be clear but kind. Find small compromises.
Finding common ground between ourselves and the loved ones we care for can help reduce tension and create a more cooperative environment. By focusing on shared goals, being open to compromise, and maintaining respectful communication, we can build bridges – and connections – that can withstand the strongest challenges.