Grief — Blog — Courage to Caregivers

APRIL 2025 Newsletter - Common Humanity Thrives in All of Us

APRIL THEME: COMMON HUMANITY

"Self-compassion is rooted in our common humanity. When we struggle or make mistakes, there’s often an irrational but pervasive sense of isolation – as if 'I' were the only person in the world having this painful experience. All humans suffer, however. Not the same way or the same amount, but the very definition of being 'human' means being vulnerable, flawed and imperfect. When we are self-compassionate, we recognize that our suffering connects us rather than separates us from others." ~ Dr. Kristin Neff

As Dr. Kristin Neff puts aptly here, being human means we have vulnerabilities and flaws, and that we make mistakes. In our caregiving, we often feel the pressure to be "perfect" and make the right decisions all the time. It becomes easy to feel isolated and as if no one understands what we are going through. However, COMMON HUMANITY reminds us that we are not alone. While our particular challenges and stories may be unique, the fact that we all know what it feels like to be vulnerable and imperfect allows us to build bridges to one another rather than close doors.

Life is hard. Our lives are full of both pain and joy. We experience complex grief and loss and the feelings of isolation that come with it. When we step back and remember we are not alone, we can break through that loneliness and find connection and belonging. Common humanity means acknowledging that we are never truly going through life by ourselves. Hand-in-hand, we can listen and support one another, acting with compassion toward others and ourselves.

3 Tools to Help Appreciate Our Common Humanity

Remember that we are not alone. It is sometimes easier to see what divides us instead of what brings us together. However, common humanity is not the absence of difference. Common humanity simply means recognizing that even with our differences, we are still human and have the capacity to connect with one another.
Practice self-compassion.As we emphasize here at Courage to Caregivers, we cannot be truly kind to others if we are not also taking care of ourselves. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can, and talk to yourself as you would talk to a beloved friend.
Embrace connections. Focus on what connects us to other people rather than what makes us different. By building connections based on our common humanity, we can support both ourselves and those around us.

Check out our entire April 2025 Newsletter focused on Common Humanity here.

Our Grief May Be Ambiguous, but It’s Real

"The Companioning Model of grief care reminds us that our helping role is not to 'fix what is broken,' but instead to 'nurture what is best.'" ~ Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt

We all know that caregiving can be complicated. Even our feelings can be ambiguous and hard to understand. This is known as ambiguous loss – a type of grief where a person experiences the loss of someone who is still physically present but emotionally or cognitively absent, such as in situations like dementia, brain injury, or mental illness. If caregivers don’t acknowledge and process this unique grief, it can lead to burnout, emotional exhaustion, and resentment.

I wasn’t aware of this type of grief journey until our son’s accident, leaving him with a traumatic brain injury and permanent brain damage. I have now come to realize that it is a very common form of loss, and many caregivers struggle with it because it lacks closure or clear resolution, making it difficult to fully grieve or heal.

Common HumanityKristi HornerApril 22, 2025Grief, loss

APRIL 2024 NEWSLETTER: We're in this TOGETHER 🤲

Every single one of us has a STORY. Not one of us is spared life's challenges - after all - that's LIFE! And ... I don't need to remind you that life can be HARD.

Many times our caregiver stories are "invisible" - just like the invisible illnesses many of our loved ones face.

Life is filled with moments of joy AND ordinary AND pain. In my most tender moments supporting loved ones (or myself) through immense physical or emotional pain, I've shared my thoughts on how we might navigate our one and precious life. We were never promised a life of only the “good” emotions - like joy and happiness - life comes with the good AND bad - a full spectrum of experiences.

How often do you find yourself asking "why ME?" I've been known to say this and "enough is enough" - how much pain can one person endure?

Sometimes, life feels unfair.

But as you navigate your story - your journey of life - remember, you are NEVER alone. Never alone in your joy OR your pain. We're on this caregiver journey TOGETHER.

When I founded Courage to Caregivers - it was a passion project. After losing our brother to suicide, my sisters and I knew NO ONE should take this journey - of providing care to someone they love living with mental illness - ALONE. We had felt so very alone all those years providing mental and emotional support for our brother. Just like he did. Yet, we were facing this together.

Over the years, talking with people, hearing their stories, holding their hands on their journey of pain - whether it be grief, loss of any kind, chronic pain, physical pain, emotional pain, isolation, or loneliness - it can feel hard and overwhelming. One of the things I've learned is ... people want to know they aren't ALONE. We work to validate each caregiver's experience and affirm and normalize their feelings. Allowing each caregiver to feel seen, heard, and understood.

“The very definition of being 'human' means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to ‘me’ alone.” ~ Kristin Neff

Walking hand in hand with someone else is one of our greatest gifts to each other. Common humanity = you are NEVER alone.

Check out our entire April Newsletter focused on Common Humanity here.

Don’t Let Grief Block the Sun

“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot.” – Jamie Anderson

We experienced an unusual spectacle in northeast Ohio and many other parts of the country this week as people came together to celebrate a few minutes of darkness in the middle of the day during the total solar eclipse. While the idea of an eclipse can be used to symbolize many things, I couldn’t help thinking that it was a perfect metaphor for our topic this week – grief and loss.

Common HumanityKristi HornerApril 11, 2024Grief, loss

April Newsletter: Self-Compassion + Connectedness + Common Humanity = HOPE

Life can be HARD - I likely don't need to remind you.

Life is filled with moments of joy AND ordinary AND pain. In my most tender moments supporting loved ones (or myself) through immense physical or emotional pain, I've shared my thoughts on how we might navigate our one and precious life. We were never promised a life of only the “good” emotions - like joy and happiness - life comes with the good AND bad - a full spectrum of experiences.

How often do you find yourself asking "why ME?" I've been known to say this and "enough is enough" - how much pain can one person endure?

Sometimes, life feels unfair.

But as you navigate your story - your journey of life - remember, you are NEVER alone. Never alone in your joy OR your pain.

When I founded Courage to Caregivers - it was a passion project. After losing our brother to suicide, my sisters and I knew NO ONE should take this journey - of providing care to someone they love living with mental illness - ALONE. We had felt so very alone all those years providing mental and emotional support for our brother.

Over the years, talking with people, hearing their stories, holding their hands on their journey of pain - whether it be grief, loss of any kind, chronic pain, physical pain, emotional pain, isolation, or loneliness - it can feel hard and overwhelming. One of the things I've learned is ... people want to know they aren't ALONE. We work to validate each caregivers' experience and affirm and normalize their feelings.

“The very definition of being “human” means that one is mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. Therefore, self-compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal inadequacy is part of the shared human experience – something that we all go through rather than being something that happens to ‘me’ alone.” ~ Kristin Neff

Walking hand in hand with someone else is one of our greatest gifts to each other. Common humanity = you are NEVER alone.

Check out our entire April newsletter focused on Common Humanity here.

The Right Way to Grieve Is YOUR Way

This week’s topic is a universal one. Everyone experiences grief and loss. The death of a loved one may be the first thing that comes to mind, but we can also feel grief over many other situations in life, such as the end of a relationship. Caregivers often experience complicated grief – long-term, unresolved, persistent grief, ambiguous grief, loss without closure or clear understanding, or the loss we feel when a loved one is still living but not fully present.

Common HumanityKristi HornerApril 13, 2023Grief, Loss

Navigating Grief is Tough – Learning to Live With It

The current pandemic has brought with it many kinds of losses – including personal, social, financial, and even our sense of “life as we know it.” Any loss can make us feel grief, and that, appropriately, is our topic for this week.

RelationshipsKristi HornerJuly 23, 2020Grief, Self-Care, Acceptance, Loss